Ahh Saint Patrick’s Day. To the Irish- A celebration of culture and religion. To Americans- Also a celebration of culture and religion… if by culture you mean “wearing all green” and by religion you mean “worshiping alcohol”.
Good morning Valued Reader. Today we will wrap up our Paddy’s day reviews with the most iconic Paddy’s day movie of all time. You guessed it: The Leprechaun.
This is one of those movies that you would assume would have a nobody cast. Even if you’ve seen it before, I guarantee you didn’t remember that freakin’ Jennifer Anniston was in it! Yes, that Jennifer Anniston, in all of her pre-Friends glory. Also, Warwick Davis, well known for his roles as the main Ewok AND the body of Yoda (sometimes) in Star Wars; and Filius Flitwick AND Griphook in the Harry Potter films. He had a few small roles in well known films and TV like The Chronicles of Narnia and Doctor Who and played a lot of dwarf roles as well (The troubles of being a little person in Hollywood.) Leprechaun evidently paid him well because he was in Leprechaun 2, Leprechaun 3, Leprechaun 4: In Space, Leprechaun in the Hood, and last but certainly not least, Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood. I swear to you these are all very real. (ATTENTION-SLUT WARNING: Comment if you want me to review them 😉 ) But I digress, other characters include people who haven’t aged as well as Jennifer Aniston like Ken Olant and Mark Holton. The characters in this give a pretty decent performance. Not very memorable but they’re trying at least. They’re not given very good material so even the best actor couldn’t make their line’s sound any less goofy. Warwick Davis steals the show in every frame he is in.
2. The Plot
The plot was very disappointing. Not that I was expecting a cinematic masterpiece or anything but I did imagine it to be… Less boring. I imagined this to be cheesy and over the top. Like Evil Dead if it had way less gore and was all around a inferior movie. There just wasn’t enough going on to hold my attention. No moments that were so bad you had to laugh, they were just plain bad. There was a side plot about this older mentally challanged man and a kid (who were hired to paint Jennifer Aniston and her dad’s house but end up hanging out with them the whole movie for some reason) when they find the leprechaun’s gold and the kid mentions the older guy can now get an operation to fix his brain. Um, heavy, much? This does not match the cheesy campy tone of the movie at. all. Maybe it was supposed to be a comedic moment. It definitely did not come off that way. Then later the kid admitted that he knew there was no operation to fix this man’s brain. THEN WHY WOULD HE BRING IT UP IN THE FIRST PLACE? Just to get his hopes up. This is a very odd moment, never to be discussed again.
Basically the whole thing starts out with two Irish sterotypes who we don’t spend any time with before they get axed. The Irishman had just returned back to America from Ireland and tells his wife he managed to capture a Leprechaun and steal his gold. Pretty much as soon as he finishes his sentence, his wife is already being pushed down the stairs by the Leprechaun who has hunted them down. So the husband manages to trap him in a crate with a four leaf clover placed on top of it (Which is a Leprechaun’s only weakness, apparently.) Then, just as he is about to light it on fire, he… has a heart attack? From the Leprechaun’s magic? I’m not 100% sure, instructions were not clear. So fast forward, Jennifer Aniston and her Dad are moving into said house, with the Leprechaun and gold still hidden inside. Nathan (Jennifer’s love interest), his brother Alex (The kid I had mentioned before), and Ozzie (The mentally-challenged man I mentioned before) are hired to fix up the house and end up chilling for the rest of the movie. Not sure why, but I guess they’re friends now. One of a Leprechaun’s powers in this movie is their ability to perfectly mock any voice. Usually a young child’s. Not sure if this is apart of the original lore. I guess I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt. So the Leprechaun makes his voice sound like a child’s and pleads to Ozzie to let him out of the crate. Ozzie doesn’t but accidentally knocks the clover off of the crate and the Leprechaun is able to burst free. Ozzie tries to convince the others he has seen a Leprechaun but they, understandably, don’t believe him. They then proceed to make fun of how dumb this mentally-challanged man is. Charming. So almost immediately after, Ozzie spots a rainbow and follows it to the end to get the Leprechaun’s gold. Ozzie tries to check its authenticity by biting it but accidentally swallows it. So they leave it at a pawn shop to get it appraised. The leprechaun then kills the Pawn-shop owner (not sure why- he wasn’t the one who stole his gold.) After a good amount of time with the Leprechaun chasing the main characters around, attempting to kill them, Ozzie and Alex FINALLY admit that they, indeed, have had the gold THIS WHOLE TIME. (But of course they don’t tell them about the piece he swallowed. Of course.) So they give the Leprechaun his gold back and go to a nursing home where they believe O’Grady, the original owner of the house, to be at. (Apparently he was not dead. Convenient.) The Leprechaun pretends to be him at first (Because he realizes he was missing a piece of gold- Thanks Ozzie) but Aniston runs into the elevator and finds O’Grady hanging at the top of the elevator within an inch of his life. He reveals that the only way to kill a Leprechaun is with a four leaf clover. They run back to the house and find one. Alex attaches it to a wad of gum and slingshots it into the Leprechaun’s mouth, uttering the best line of this film, perhaps one of the best lines of all time: “Fuck you, Lucky Charms!” He falls into a well. Climbs out. And is pushed back into the well and set on fire. He still lives obviously. There’s like 12 sequels.
3. Final Verdict
Although it seems entertaining, there are a lot of slow parts in between. It’s much more entertaining just to read the plot summary. Or this review 😉 Though it is seen as a Paddy’s day classic, there are much better movies to watch. Like Boondock Saints or Luck of The Irish.
3/10 Popped Corns
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